You and I Baby We're the Bad Boys
by SuperAwesomePandaKitty
Summary: 'Richie had never felt more afraid in his life for himself and the lives of his friends. They did the Ritual of Chud but it didn't work and suddenly that fucking clown was now chasing them all and taking different forms to fuck with them.' This is me ignoring canon and my version of the It Chapter 2 Reddie fix it!


A/N. Hey guys, so this is me completely ignoring canon and believing Richie and Eddie deserved better, it's not beta read so all mistakes are mine and I will probably come in and fix mistakes. This has been about a week in the making, it started off as a one shot that I just couldn't stop writing so…Hope you enjoy :)

Richie had never felt more afraid in his life for himself and the lives of his friends. They did the Ritual of Chud but it didn't work and suddenly that fucking clown was now chasing them all and taking different forms to fuck with them. At that moment, a tiny demon-Georgie was chasing Bill around and Richie had just managed to throw a rock at It which unfortunately had attracted Its attention…

"Richiiie!" The clown's voice deepened as Georgie shifted into an all too familiar form and suddenly the Henry Bowers he'd killed just hours before was facing him down, axe still sticking out of the back of his head and everything as he smirked sinisterly at him.

"Oh shit!" Richie exclaimed as Bowers-It laughed hysterically and started heading towards him.

"Oh I know your dirty little secret Richie…Bet you felt really fucking powerful taking me down you fucking fag." Bowers-It shouted in that same fucking voice that used to haunt his nightmares when he was younger as Richie kept backing away in fear. "It should be you that's dead you faggot, fags don't deserve to live…What will your friends think of you now Richie? All the jokes you told about fucking girls weren't real, this whole time you've been a queer and you lied to them all."

"No…Stop." Richie said weakly but his shoulders dropped in defeat as every drop of self-loathing he had ever felt built up in his chest. His ears were ringing so loudly with the shame and the guilt that he couldn't even hear the others calling out to him as he'd backed himself into a wall.

Bowers-It pulled the axe out of the back of his head with a sinister laugh. "You shouldn't touch the boys Richie, especially the _cute cute cute_ ones. Everyone will know and they all know you now. We can all see you for what you are." Bowers-It spat as eyeballs began to appear and protrude out of his skin and clothes; all pointed at Richie with a judgemental stare as he raised the axe to strike Richie down.

Richie couldn't do anything but close his eyes and wait, he'd fought the good fight but Bowers/It was right, he couldn't even admit he was gay to himself never mind the rest of them and now the Losers would all know that he was a fake. That he wasn't worth anything they ever gave him…

A gasping growl came from the Bowers-It and Richie hesitantly peeked his eyes open before they widened in shock as their childhood bully had a spear sticking out of his chest before the spear was dragged back out by Eddie.

"Richie! Come on Man." Eddie shouted trying to get him to move as the clown was twitching and getting bigger but he was frozen in shock. Suddenly he felt two warm hands on either side of his face as Eddie was a lot closer and looking angry. "Hey Asshole! We're not dying down here so get it the fuck together and let's go! We'll talk about this later." He said desperately which seemed to snap him out of it as Richie nodded frantically and allowed Eddie to drag him towards the others and as far from the clown as they could realistically get.

Everything happened in a blur, running towards the three doors with Eddie, facing the closet with the amputated body heading towards them and then running away from the doors after that cute little Pomeranian betrayed them. Until Pennywise had Mike in Its grip and Richie couldn't just stand by and let his friend be hurt so he grabbed the nearest rock and threw it at the fucking clown's head.

"Hey fuckface!" He shouted as the clown threw Mike away like a discarded toy. "You wanna play truth or dare?! Here's a truth: You're a sloppy bitch!" Richie added angrily before grabbing another rock and preparing to throw. "Yippee Ki Yay motherfu-"

All of a Sudden, Richie was no longer there…He felt an overwhelming pain in his head but at the same time he felt weightless, his mind went through different memories that had happened and had yet to happen. He saw Bev telling them all the things she saw in the deadlights and then he saw the things she did; all of them, dying in different ways…Eddie saving him and then dying himself…Defeating It only to come back to Eddie and finding him dead…Being dragged away from him by the others as the place fell down around them.

Eddie was gone from his life and everyone else was able to live their lives and be happy whilst Richie stood still…able to accept who he was but never truly able to be happy.

And it all felt so real. That is, until abruptly like a puppet's strings being cut he landed painfully on the ground, he was disorientated and confused and Eddie was standing over him worriedly but excited.

"I think I got him man!" And Richie was struck with the most devastating sense of Déjà vu.

"Eddie!" Richie shouted in a panic as he noticed the claw heading for the shorter Loser, and slower than he would have liked he shot up to push Eddie out of the way but the claw still managed to slot through his arm, ripping it away like a knife through butter and everyone was screaming. Richie couldn't think of anything else other than getting Eddie away from there.

"Richie." Eddie said in a pained voice but Richie couldn't answer him, not yet as he dragged him away to where they were safe for a short period of time in his vision and as he helped Eddie get settled against the wall, he immediately pulled his belt off and tied it around Eddie's shoulder to try and stem the flow of blood.

"Richie! Eddie! Are you okay?!" Bev was shouting as the others made their way down towards them and Eddie was crying but trying to be so brave, _is_ so brave as Richie ripped his jacket off to hold it against what was left of his arm.

Richie's ears were ringing again, he could barely hear anything as he was trying desperately hard to hold it together and help Eddie as best as he could. Eddie was explaining something about the Leper but all Richie could focus on was the paleness of his skin and he just felt so much like he was on borrowed time.

"We gotta make him feel small." Mike said a little excitedly and the group's morale lifted as they finally knew how to defeat this monster that had haunted all of them and practically robbed them of 27 years of their lives.

The others ran off as Richie stayed with Eddie, holding his jacket onto the stump that was left of his arm and Eddie was softly smiling up at him as he reached up to wipe the treacherous tears that were sliding down Richie's face.

"I don't think I've ever seen you cry before." Eddie murmured weakly as he tried to keep himself awake.

"Yeah well, you're imagining things, I'm just allergic to your bullshit." Richie joked half-heartedly but his heart was aching, he was too late. The vision showed him what would happen and Richie should have been faster to push him out of the way.

"You always were full of shit Richie Tozier." Eddie mumbled with a faint laugh and Richie couldn't help but chuckle a little wetly.

"And you always saw through my bullshit." He replied tenderly, voice wavering as the tears truly began to fall in a steady stream.

"That I did." Eddie said fondly, his head turned to watch their friends face off the clown as they screamed insults and Richie threw some of his own in there for good measure as they cornered the clown.

"You think you can stand? We're gonna need to kill It together." Richie asked worriedly and Eddie shook his head.

"Not on my own. Can you help me up?" He replied hoarsely and the Trashmouth nodded with a concerned frown as he hoisted Eddie up with the other man's good arm over his shoulders and trying to keep his jacket pressed up against the stump.

They made their slow way over as Mike pulled a small heart from the pathetic looking creature and the other Losers began to dig their hands in to rip it apart. Richie adjusted Eddie so the shorter man could dig his hand in as well as they destroyed It, when the clown was finally dead Richie let out a heavy sigh of relief before jolting when he remembered what would happen next.

"Shit, we need to get out of here." Richie said urgently as the place first started to rumble and everyone headed towards the tunnel as fast as they could.

"I won't be able to climb up." Eddie mumbled weakly. "You should g-"

"Shut the fuck up Eds we're not leaving you down here." Richie interrupted bitterly as he looked at Bill and the others desperately for a solution.

"I'll help him up but someone needs to be up there to help him out." Ben said instantly.

"Right, R-Richie you go first and then me and w-we'll help Eddie." Bill told them with a determined nod.

"Bev you go after Bill." Ben added and Mike nodded as he knew they would all need to work together to get Eddie out of there.

"Guys it's not worth it if you die down here with me." Eddie tried but Richie hushed him.

"I swear to god Eds once we get out of here I'm gonna kill you myself." The Trashmouth said angrily before rushing to climb up, relieved to hear Bill following closely behind.

Once he reached the surface, he helped Bill out and they waited for Bev to appear before helping her too.

"Are you sure you've got this Ben?" They could hear Eddie asking worriedly but Ben didn't respond and Richie immediately reached down to lift Eddie's good arm when he was close enough, Bill and Bev then helping Ben who had been pushing Eddie up with his shoulders.

Once all the Losers were out safely, they ran through the crumbling sewers; stumbling out of the Neibolt house just as the old building collapsed to the ground.

"Okay, Eddie needs to go to the hospital right the fuck now." Richie said urgently, panicking when he observed the ashy colour of the shorter man's face and how weak he seemed.

"My car is closest." Ben said quickly as he hurried over to help Richie with Eddie, trying not to brush against the stump of his right arm and throwing his keys to Bill. "Get the car started and bring it to us if we're not there yet."

"On it!" Bill replied as he and Mike ran off.

"Thanks for not leaving me behind." Eddie huffed faintly and Richie let out a sigh.

"You're damn right we weren't gonna leave you behind." He retorted desperately with an eyeroll.

No one had any time to respond as Ben's car skidded beside them and they eased Eddie into the car.

"Take him to the hospital, Bev and I will meet you there." Ben insisted as he knew there wasn't enough room for all of them and he didn't want to cause Eddie any discomfort if he accidentally brushed against anyone with his stump.

Richie was pretty sure he was in a state of shock but he was trying to keep it together for Eddie's sake as the shorter man leaned heavily on him.

"Don't you fucking fall asleep Eds." Richie said threateningly even as his hands were shakily trying to hold him up.

"I'm not…I'm not…pr-mise." Eddie mumbled tiredly as his eyes kept drooping closed every so often.

"Bill." Richie murmured brokenly as the dam was about to overflow with his anxiety.

"We're almost there Richie." Mike told him softly. "Keep him talking."

"Okay…" He sniffed before racking his brain for something to say which was a first for him. "Hey. Hey Eds. Remember that day when we were twelve and Bowers and his cretins were chasing me home from the Arcade and you, Bill and Mike happened to catch us when he cornered me outside the Smith's house?"

A quiet huff came from the shorter man. "I told Bowers he was so ugly his mom wouldn't even fuck him."

"Hell yeah you did, he was so mad." Richie laughed wetly.

"He tried to hit me but you pushed me out of the way and had a black eye for like 3 weeks." Eddie murmured fondly.

"Eh, I think it helped my street cred a bit. Made me look tough." He replied with a quiet chuckle.

"I always thought you were…" Eddie trailed off drowsily.

"Always thought I was what? Eds?..Eddie?!" Richie jostled Eddie a little when he didn't respond, leaning over to see if his eyes were still open but Eddie's eyes were closed and Richie couldn't hold back the panicked noise that escaped. "He's unconscious, what do we do?!"

"We're here." Bill said urgently, pulling up outside the emergency room and Mike rushed out to help Richie carry Eddie inside.

"We need a doctor!" Mike shouted as soon as they entered the room, nurses rushed forward with a gurney and they helped get Eddie onto the bed. Mike was answering questions immediately whilst Richie froze numbly as he watched the man he loved get taken away, unable to follow as a nurse told him he had to wait outside and he startled when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning his head, he could see Bill who gave him a reassuring nod and led him away to the waiting area with Mike in tow.

Richie couldn't do anything but sit and stare at the blood on his hands…_'Eddie's_' his mind helpfully supplied. He didn't even notice when Bev and Ben had arrived, barely felt Bev's arm settle over his shoulders when she sat beside him to comfort him.

He felt numb, tears were dripping from his chin that he was helpless to stop and not really aware of. The only thing he could focus on was the dried blood on his hands which had cracked in places and struggling to swallow the urge to scream and wail for all they had lost.

He didn't know how long it had been since they got there, how long it had been since they'd defeated that fucking clown…how long it had been since he'd killed Bowers. It felt like a dream, like it had all happened to someone else.

Seeing Eddie again had instantly brought back so many memories of their bond, how fucking in love with that stupid idiot Richie had been…still was. Something had always felt like it was missing, he was so fucking ashamed of who he was for so many years that he couldn't even admit it to himself nevermind anyone else and suddenly all his memories the fucking clown stole from him made him realise the thing that was missing was his first and only love.

Eddie could have died trying to save him…still might…No he couldn't think like that, he had to believe Eddie would be okay. That's how this shit was supposed to work right? Eddie believed he could kill the clown and sure he might not have killed It but he still managed to hurt It.

Richie finally startled when he heard a new voice calling to them and his head shot up from his hands. Standing quickly, he looked at the Doctor a little desperately as he held his breath and waited for the news.

"Mr Kaspbrak is in a stable condition, he's very lucky you brought him here when you did and whoever tied the belt around his arm very well has saved his life." The Doctor explained, Bev nudged Richie encouragingly but he barely noticed as he let out a relieved breath and couldn't help the quiet sob that escaped.

"Are we able to see him?" Ben asked worriedly and the Doctor nodded warily.

"You can visit him but, and I don't mean anything rude by this but could you please clean up a bit before you go in. Mr Kaspbrak is stable but he's at a very high risk of infection right now and we don't want to add any unnecessary complications." The Doctor explained apologetically.

"Richie can see him first, Ben can you help him?" Bev stated matter of factly as Ben nodded and Richie was ushered into the bathroom.

Richie was quiet as Ben began wiping his face with some damp paper towels, the other man was focused on his task but couldn't hide the concern in his eyes for the Trashmouth and Richie let out a broken little snort.

"Thanks Haystack." He murmured quietly and Ben smiled softly.

"What are friends for?" He replied with a modest shrug just as Bev came in, obviously uncaring about the gendered bathroom rules.

"Do you have a t-shirt on under your shirt Richie?" She asked softly with kind eyes and Richie looked down thoughtfully before nodding and Bev reached up as she began unbuttoning his shirt.

"Wow Bev, Haystack's right there." Richie joked half-heartedly which earned him two sets of fond eyerolls.

"You wish Trashmouth." Bev joked back as she eased the shirt off of him as Ben had finished wiping Richie's hands of all the blood he could get to. "Now wash your hands or Eddie will complain."

"Yes mom." Richie retorted as he scrubbed at his hands a little harder than usual, even though Ben had done a great job of cleaning him up…Richie felt like he could still _feel_ the blood on his hands.

When he'd finally deemed himself as clean as he could be, they exited the bathroom together and the Doctor gestured for Richie to follow with an approving nod. The other Losers gave him encouraging smiles and he nodded before eagerly following the Doctor to Eddie's room.

Richie took a deep breath before entering the room, Eddie was already awake but he looked drowsy as he gave Richie a sleepy smile and he moved closer to sit himself down on the chair.

"I would do Jazz hands but I'm down one." Eddie murmured with a weak chuckle, Richie was struck speechless for once, mouth gaping open before a disbelieving laugh escaped him.

"You're an asshole." He exclaimed with a sniff and Eddie grinned fondly before his expression sobered.

"How is everyone?" Eddie asked worriedly.

"Yeah, they're good man. Everyone's good." Richie said reassuringly, struggling to hold himself back from doing something embarrassing like sobbing or confessing his undying love.

"What about you?" The shorter man asked with a concerned frown.

"Me? I'm fine man. Never better. You know me..." Richie rambled, trailing off when Eddie merely stared at him before he let out a defeated sigh. "I'll get over It…Ha pun totally not intended but if the clown shoe fits."

"Now I know why you don't write your own material." Eddie deadpanned earning himself a chuckle from the Trashmouth.

"Hey fuck you, I didn't have a choice with that man. I realistically could write my own stuff but the world just isn't ready for that y'know?" He joked half-heartedly and groaned when Eddie looked at him sympathetically. "Don't give me that shit, you're the one that lost an arm. I don't need your pity." He added defensively.

"I'm not pitying you dickwad. I'm just…I dunno what to say." Eddie said with a helpless shrug before grimacing in pain as the movement had hurt his shoulder and Richie's face fell.

"I'm sorry Eds." He told him sadly and Eddie frowned worriedly.

"What for? The Doctor said you basically saved my life because of the belt and sure it'll take some getting used to but I'm alive Richie…because of you."He replied with a grateful smile.

"You don't understand Eddie; when I was in the Deadlights…I saw it all happen, I saw you trying to save me…you were standing over me and then that fucking clown impaled you and you died and we…we..." Richie couldn't stop the flow of tears as he relived the horrible visions. "We fucking left you behind as the place was falling down around us…I didn't wanna leave you but the others they…they dragged me away and I couldn't get to you and when the Neibolt house collapsed I tried to go back in but Mike and Ben they…they held me back…But then I was on the ground and you were standing over me again and I noticed the claw coming and I was too late to push you out of the way so now you've lost an arm. I should have been faster Eds." Richie broke down, pulling his glasses off to bury his face in his hands as he desperately tried to muffle his sobs and he jolted when he felt a hand brushing through his hair.

"Hey. It's okay Rich, you said you saw me die right? Well it's either dead or one arm okay? I'm alive that's all that matters, it's not your fault okay?" Eddie hushed him softly and Richie looked up at him gratefully as Eddie's hand slid down to his cheek.

"I'm so fucking glad you're alive, Eddie." He said hoarsely as he wiped away the tears on his other cheek as Eddie stroked them away with his thumb.

"You and me both." Eddie said with a small laugh before his face changed to a concerned frown and he retracted his hand back to fiddle with his blankets nervously. "Richie?"

"Yeah?" He asked curiously, missing the touch instantly but desperately trying not to let it show on his face.

"What happened back there? You just froze up." The shorter man asked, looking worried when Richie's face immediately closed up as he leaned back in his seat tensely.

"It was nothing man, the fucking clown probably knew I was afraid of Bowers and used that against me that's all." Richie replied quickly as he shifted uncomfortably.

"Rich, come on. No bullshit. I've seen you face off Bowers for us and you never reacted like that before…And the things he was saying, it looked like it hurt you…You never let what Bowers said get to you before. He was going to kill you Richie." Eddie said as delicately as he could.

"Look just drop it Eds, it's not important okay? Bowers said a lot of fucked up shit. To all of us. Why is this any different okay?" The Trashmouth said finally, he really didn't want to talk about it…All those years of repression and self-loathing were hard to break even if finally killing the clown had helped him accept himself even just a little bit.

"You used to say 'cute cute cute' to me all the time." Eddie murmured carefully as he tried to gauge Richie's reaction and Richie…Running on almost zero sleep, adrenaline and defensive fear stood up.

"What's your point Eds?" He snapped but barrelled on before Eddie could say anything. "I told you to drop it but no _Eddie_ has to keep on pushing…All that shit the fucking clown said as Bowers was true okay? I'm fucking gay, I knew it, Bowers knew it, the fucking clown knew it and it used that shit against me."

"Richie, it's okay." Eddie said warily, not wanting to push his friend further.

"No it's not fucking okay Eddie…None of this is. The clown knew how I felt about you, he's always known it." Richie said hysterically and when he received no reply he finally met Eddie's eyes. Eddie wasn't doing anything more than staring at him in shock and then he realised what he'd said. "I gotta…gotta go." Richie murmured miserably before turning towards the door quickly.

"Richie wait…please." Eddie exclaimed anxiously but the Trashmouth couldn't take the rejection so he rushed out of the room.

"Richie, are you okay?" Bev asked worriedly as the other Losers looked him over in concern.

"I can't…be here right now." Richie mumbled, running a hand through his hair with a grimace before rushing out of the hospital.

Bev hurried into Eddie's room, taking a moment to heave a relieved breath at the sight of their friend alive and well…down an arm but at least he wasn't dead.

"Eddie, are you okay? What happened with Richie?" Bev asked with a concerned frown.

"Richie will tell you guys on his own but please make sure he doesn't leave town okay? I don't know how long I'm stuck here for and I…I just really need to talk to him." Eddie explained sadly, lip wobbling as Bev reached out to give his hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Glad you're okay man." Ben added softly as he stood behind Bev to look down at their broken friend.

"Would you mind going after Richie?" Bev asked Ben worriedly. "Whatever's going on with him…I know he just needs some time to calm down."

"Sure, I'll try and find him and bring him back here." Ben said with a sympathetic smile.

"Tell him I said that's he's an asshole for leaving like that…but also tell him I…I really need to talk to him." Eddie said miserably and Ben nodded before looking at Bev.

"I'll text you when I find him." He replied and Bev smiled gratefully as Ben hovered awkwardly for a moment before hurrying off.

Richie didn't really have anywhere in mind to go, he went into the nearest liquor store and bought himself a bottle of whiskey that he took with him as he walked into the deserted park. He settled himself down on a bench and took a few greedy gulps, glaring at the Paul Bunyan statue as his throat burned with the alcohol.

"Fucking stupid, Tozier." Richie berated himself quietly as he morosely drank some more, honestly he didn't know what he expected…Eddie would most likely not want to be near him again…Well no, he'd probably still want to be friends but there'd be a distance placed between them now.

He didn't even mean to say it, he was just so worked up and stressed from the whole ordeal…He didn't even know who Eddie was two days ago. Richie sighed tiredly, what a mess his life had become. They should be celebrating the fact that they destroyed that fucking clown…hopefully for good this time.

Maybe he should go back to California, then he could forget all this shit and sure feeling that emptiness that was always there for 27 years of his life was shit but at least he wouldn't remember what a colossal shitshow this was.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, downing the bottle of whiskey until there was nothing left…He should go back to the town house now and pack his stuff and get the fuck out of this town. Eddie was alive and free to go back to his wife.

God, Eddie had a wife! Why would he want some piece of shit nobody like Richie confessing his love for him like that…even though he never explicitly said it, he knew by Eddie's expression that he knew what Richie meant.

Richie stood then, sticking his middle finger up at the Paul Bunyan statue for good measure before he noticed Ben walking down the street looking around…probably for him and god forbid Richie might be forced to talk about his 'feelings'. Ugh, Richie would rather avoid that for as long as possible, so he hid himself behind the statue as he waited for Ben to pass before sneaking off on unsteady legs towards the Inn.

Once he got to his room, he left the empty bottle on the bedside table and packed his shit up quickly, he was more than a bit tipsy but fuck it…If he crashed his car, he had double the chance of forgetting this whole ordeal once he got out of Derry. He sneaked out the fire escape, not wanting to risk Ben finding him on the way out the front door, he headed towards the parking lot and placed his stuff in the boot of his car.

Richie slammed the boot closed quickly but just as he got to his door, a pair of strong arms surrounded him and dragged him back and for one terrifying moment he thought the clown was back and this was it.

"Get the fuck off me!" Richie said indignantly as he struggled in the stranger's grip.

"It's me Richie." Ben told him with a grunt as he tried to keep a hold of him.

"What are you doing?! This is kidnapping Haystack! I'm gonna call the cops." The Trashmouth threatened bitterly but Ben let out a fond laugh.

"I'd love to see how that would go, 'Hello Officer? My friend won't let me drink and drive.'" Ben replied warmly. "You reek of alcohol right now."

"I have rights y'know?" Richie said as he half-heartedly struggled against the other's grip. "What are you a tree? Do you lift trees in your spare time? Are you secretly a lumberjack? Is that how you got so ripped?" He joked as he was begrudgingly dragged back inside the inn.

"No but I'm under strict orders from Bev and Eddie." Ben explained with an apologetic grin as he set Richie down on one of the chairs in the lobby.

"You're not gonna murder me are you Haystack? Because I gotta say, I'll take it personally."Richie asked with a hiccupping giggle.

"Of course not Richie." Ben said with a fond eyeroll. "Eddie wants you to know that you're an asshole for leaving like that." Richie looked down in shame, sobering slightly. "But he also wants to talk to you." Richie looked back up warily and chewed his lip.

"Did he mention anything about why I left?" Ben shook his head with a concerned frown.

"No, he said you would tell us on your own. If you need someone to talk to, you know I'm always here. We're in this together, all of us and we're gonna try to keep in contact this time so we won't ever forget each other." He replied gently, eyes eager as he desperately wanted everything to go better this time around with the Losers.

"Maybe I'll tell you guys later." Richie said flippantly. "For now though, I'm gonna find me a bottle of bourbon to drown my sorrows in."

"We don't care you know?" Ben murmured softly and Richie looked up quickly.

"Care about what?" He asked warily, choosing then to look around for the bottle of Bourbon rather than look at his friend.

"Look man, I don't wanna presume or hurt your feelings or anything…" Ben started carefully but he stopped when Richie let out a snort.

"That's good 'cause I don't have any." The Trashmouth said dismissively before letting out a loud "Aha!" when he finally found his prize, opening it quickly to take a few gulps.

"Richie." Ben chided gently, Richie moved over to slump down on a comfy chair as he offered the bottle to the other Loser who shook his head with a troubled frown.

"Suit yourself." Richie murmured as he brought the bottle to his lips again.

"Richie, listen. All the stuff that the clown said as Bowers…" Ben started hesitantly.

"I don't wanna talk about it Haystack."Richie said with a heavy sigh.

"I get that but you need to know that we don't care." He replied adamantly and for a stupid moment, Richie thought he meant they didn't care about _him_ but Ben steamrollered on. "You are a Loser through and through, we stick together no matter what. All that stuff? It doesn't change who you are or what you mean to us…You'll always be our best friend."

Richie turned his head to the side as his stupid emotions were betraying him again and a tear rolled down his cheek which he wiped away furiously before taking another drink and letting out a heavy sigh. "Thanks Ben, you always were the nicest Loser."

"Yeah well, you guys are important to me and I don't want to lose any of you again." Ben murmured gently and Richie nodded sympathetically in response as he contemplated drinking more from the bottle before setting it down on the coffee table.

"Are you really gonna sit here with me this whole time?" He asked, only half joking and Ben let out a quiet chuckle.

"I told you, I'm under orders. You're not allowed to leave town." Ben said with a helpless shrug.

"Ugh, what are you my mom?" Richie retorted indignantly but the other Loser merely smirked in response.

"You wanna go back to the hospital soon?" Ben asked seemingly ignoring Richie's reluctance, he headed towards the coffee machine as Richie let out a broken sigh, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Fine…But I can't go like this, I've sank a bottle of whiskey in the park before I got here." Richie explained as he surrendered to fate and he smiled gratefully when Ben set a cup of coffee in front of him. "Thanks."

"Anytime." Ben murmured with a fond smile as he sipped at his own coffee, he lifted his phone and took a picture of Richie who was sipping his coffee pensively, sending it to Bev with the caption 'Be there soon.'

Bev smiled fondly down at her phone and looked over at Eddie who had only been half paying attention to Bill's story ever since her phone beeped.

"Ben found Richie, he says they'll be here soon." She explained to their injured friend before showing him the picture as Bill continued talking to Mike and she smiled kindly when Eddie let out a sigh of relief.

"He didn't leave town." He murmured quietly, hand squeezing around his blanket nervously and Bev reached over to place her hand on his.

"Of course not, even if Richie had managed to leave Derry, he would have changed his mind. You know how he is when he panics; he'll close himself off for a while but he always comes back." Bev said softly with a confident smile that she could see had raised Eddie's spirits a little.

"Thanks Bev." Eddie replied with a fond smile.

"Anytime Eddie." She told him as she patted his hand before pulling back to read another text from Ben. "Richie's had a few drinks so Ben's trying to sober him up a little before he brings him here." Bev warned them and Eddie rolled his eyes with a put upon sigh.

"He's an idiot." He stated with no real venom in his voice. "Doesn't he know the statistics of alcohol poisoning? I hope he didn't try and drive in that state." He added bitterly as his hand clenched his bed sheet and he chewed on his lip, a habit his mother always hated but he couldn't help himself.

"Hey Bill? Mike? Would you guys mind going to the cafeteria and getting Eddie and I some snacks?" Bev asked them, trying to pull some money out of her purse but the other Losers waved her off with a knowing look and the door closed behind them with a soft click.

"Don't know if I would trust the food here, there are so many cases of food poisoning from hospital food…"Eddie murmured but trailed off as he noticed Bev's concerned look. "What? Is my face bleeding again?" He asked anxiously.

"You're fine Eddie, I just wanted us to be alone so we could talk about Richie." She explained carefully and Eddie shifted a little with a grimace when it jostled his wound.

"What about him?" He asked, not meeting her eyes but staring at a mark on the wall that had been bugging him since he woke up.

"Come on Eddie." She chided gently. "Richie was almost catatonic until the Doctor told us we could see you and the next thing he's running out of here faster than anything…and the drinking?" Eddie grimaced miserably in response and Bev sighed sadly when she saw his eyes welling with tears.

"I don't know what to say Bev…He didn't give me a chance to respond…I was just so surprised and when I told him to wait he just ran away." He whispered as the tears fell.

"The Clown used our fears against us…all that shit It said through Bowers…if it's true." Bev hinted softly before continuing. "Would explain why Richie reacted the way he did back there, he probably thinks that of himself." She added carefully and Eddie met her eyes finally, mouth grim before shaking his head.

"He's dumb if he thinks it would change anything for us…I mean all of us as Losers. We would never abandon him." Eddie murmured certainly before letting out a heavy sigh. "I really need to talk to him."

"Did he tell you what he saw in the Deadlights?" Bev asked with the same haunted look in her eyes as she had all those years ago when she told them…that Richie had before he ran off and he nodded grimly.

"I died, you all left me behind and Richie wanted to stay but the others dragged him away." He replied heavily and Bev nodded dejectedly.

"I saw that too, Richie must be in a lot of pain right now." She murmured sadly.

"I think he loves me…maybe." Eddie said with a tender smile on his face and Bev chuckled fondly.

"I think you love him too…maybe." Bev replied with a warm smirk.

"I think I always have…but then I forgot and got married to a woman who's exactly like my mom…She's not a terrible person but I've never been happy with her. I married her because I thought I was supposed to and the way she treated me…was unhealthy but familiar…safe." Eddie explained to the one Loser who would truly get it, she smiled sympathetically as the bruises on her arms stood out against the white sheets when her hand closed over his again.

"Sometimes we find people who are bad for us because we grew up in that toxic environment…the one constant in our lives was the abuse so we find that familiarity safe even if it makes us miserable." Bev explained shakily before her smile grew. "But if we can be brave enough to break away from that, we can truly find someone who treats us the way we deserve to be treated." She added, eyes burning with confidence the same way she used to when she was the bravest of all the Losers and jumped into the lake first.

"I've tried to leave Myra so many times but she would always whine and guilt trip me into going back, but when I left to come back home I told myself I wasn't going back…I don't want to go back." He said with a little nod to try and convince himself he could do it.

"When I tried to leave to come back here, my husband beat me…He used to do it the odd time and I never fought back but this time…it's like I remembered a bit of the old me and I just kept fighting back until I made it out of that house with a smile on my face." Bev explained and Eddie's hand tightened in hers in sympathy as he looked at her bruises in concern. "Don't worry, you should see what he looked like." She added with a triumphant grin that Eddie couldn't help but chuckle at.

"You're so brave Bev, I wish I could be like you." He murmured and she rolled her eyes fondly.

"You are brave Eddie, you always have been but your whole life you've had someone tell you you're weak. It's not weak to be afraid. _All of us_ were afraid of that fucking clown but you know what we did? We fucking killed It together. _Twice_!" Bev replied warmly and it filled Eddie's heart to know that they were still here, his heart sinking slightly when he thought of Stan but he knew Stan would want them to live on and be happy.

"Thanks Bev…Can you do me a favour?" Eddie asked, his heart thudding with conviction.

Richie let out a heavy sigh, contemplating making his third coffee Irish to prolong the time he had before he had to face Eddie but Ben lifted the Bourbon and set it behind the bar like he could read Richie's mind. _Damn_.

"Were you always such a _party-pooper_ Haystack?" Richie asked, putting on his best Arnie voice which in his mind was uncanny but judging by the wince Ben gave; it wasn't.

"Richie, I know you really want to go back to the hospital so why try to pretend?" Ben asked with a small smile and Richie sighed.

"Can you at least pretend I'm not some glass window you can see through?" Richie retorted incredulously and let out another put-upon sigh.

"Sorry." Ben said with a snort, not looking at all apologetic.

"You're not so opaque either y'know? You wanna go back to the hospital just as bad." Richie replied just to be a dick and Ben ducked his head shyly.

"Maybe." He mumbled with a shrug and Richie rolled his eyes fondly.

"God fine, let's go. I can't in good conscience keep you from your one true love any longer without becoming a terrible Disney villain." The Trashmouth exclaimed as he finally got up and started walking out of the Inn, Ben having to rush to catch up with him as he didn't expect Richie to leave so soon.

"It's not like that…" Ben tried but Richie let out a soft laugh.

"Of course it is Ben, you've been in love with her since we were 12 and it looks like she feels the same if those gooey eyes she was making at you in the bathroom was anything to go by." He replied before patting Ben gently on the shoulder. "You'll be fine Haystack, you've always had a good heart and I'm pretty sure Bev knows that too." He added genuinely and Ben smiled gratefully.

"Thanks Richie. You know you deserve to be happy too right?" He replied gently and Richie sighed exasperatedly.

"Can we not talk about my weird gay feelings please?" Richie asked petulantly, only half joking and Ben rolled his eyes.

"Your feelings are not weird!" Ben insisted earnestly and Richie snorted.

"But they're definitely gay." He joked. Stopping dead on the sidewalk as he realised he'd just been open and joking about it and the world didn't explode. Ben was looking at him in concern, he looked like he thought Richie might be having an aneurysm and Richie wasn't so sure he wasn't.

"We love you Richie, no matter who you love." Ben murmured reassuringly and Richie started walking again, subtly wiping at his eyes. "Are you crying?" He asked worriedly.

"No! I just have a clown shoe in my eye. Don't look, it might be contagious." Richie exclaimed as he took a deep breath to steady his fucking emotions before he looked over at Ben gratefully. "Thanks Ben." He added softly.

"Don't thank me for that. Honestly being gay isn't the worst thing you've said or done and we still kept you around didn't we?" Ben joked back and Richie's mouth dropped open.

"I have to say Haystack I'm a little offended over here." He replied indignantly.

"You compared Eddie's mother to Jabba the Hut." The other Loser exclaimed.

"And you all laughed, you're just as bad! Plus it was hilarious." Richie chuckled as he thought back to Eddie's reaction, he loved bickering with Eddie…_loved_ Eddie. He let out a sigh and looked over at Ben hesitantly. "I'm in love with Eddie." He murmured, heart in his throat because it was one thing to say they accepted him for being gay, it was another for him to be in love with one of them.

"I figured as much." Ben replied after a beat of silence that Richie was about to spontaneously combust in. "Is that why you left? Did Eddie take it badly?" He asked in concern and Richie shook his head feeling stupidly like he was about to cry again.

"I ran before he could really say anything, I didn't even mean to say anything really. I didn't plan on ever telling him…Or anyone for that matter. That's why the clown kept calling it my '_dirty little secret_.'" He replied dejectedly and Ben placed his hand on Richie's arm, stopping him from moving and turned him around to face him.

"It's not _dirty_ Richie, all the shit the clown said was to fuck with you. The world's changing, it's not perfect but people are more open-minded now and yeah growing up in a homophobic town like this couldn't have been easy for you but that's not how we think of you. You're still our Trashmouth and whether you're with Eddie or someone else, we'll accept you no matter what." Ben said with a determined look.

"Wow you're all pep talk today Ben." Richie retorted with a fond smile, unable to take the compliments but grateful for them anyway. "Right, come on before I start doing something embarrassing like crying again." He stated as they resumed their walk to the hospital, he couldn't help the smile that took pride and place on his face as they went…Or the warmth in chest at the acceptance.

When they finally entered the hospital, Bill and Mike stood up from their seats to greet them and Richie smiled at them a little guiltily.

"Richie, you okay man?" Mike asked kindly and Richie nodded as Ben patted him on the back softly before heading off to Eddie's room.

"Hey guys, yeah I'm good. Sorry for running out earlier." He replied quietly as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and Bill shook his head with a reassuring smile.

"You're here now. Eddie's been asking for you." Bill said with a warm smile, no sign of his stutter after everything and Richie sighed tiredly.

"Yeah." He murmured shakily. "After I talk to him…I need to tell you guys something."

"We're not going anywhere Richie, go talk to Eddie. We'll be waiting for you." Mike told him with a gentle smile and Richie nodded softly, giving a tired wave before turning around to face Eddie's door.

"I can do this." He whispered to himself, feeling his heart in his throat before he forced himself to move forward and he opened the door gently. Eddie and Bev were talking quietly about something, Ben was sitting beside Bev content to just listen to them talk and they didn't look up at him as he entered. Richie knew they hadn't heard him come in, a surprise after all they'd been through and he leaned back against the door to close it with a soft click.

The others looked up then, a little startled at the noise and Richie managed to catch a glimpse of Eddie's relieved and upset face but Richie turned his eyes quickly to the floor.

"Richie?" Bev asked worriedly but Richie could feel the emotions building in his chest, only a few hours ago he'd been watching Eddie die when he was stuck in the Deadlights and now he had to face him after accidentally confessing his feelings and running away.

"Get it together Tozier." He chastised himself as he slapped his face lightly before he smiled up at them with a bravery he didn't feel. "Hey guys, miss me?" Bev rolled her eyes but got up to give him a hug and he leaned into it gratefully, he could feel Eddie's eyes burning through his skin but he still couldn't bring himself to look back.

"Ben said you'd be in sooner or later." Bev commented with an encouraging grin after she pulled back.

"Ha yeah! You can't get rid of me that easily…I'm like a rash that way." Richie joked weakly but Bev merely squeezed his arm to get him to be serious as she gave him a look of concern.

"Are you okay?" She asked with a look and he nodded tiredly.

"You guys mind giving me a few minutes to talk to Eddie?" He asked warily and she nodded with a warm smile before turning to Ben and the two of them walked out, Ben giving him a comforting pat on the shoulder before the door closed behind them.

The tension in the room was palpable as neither knew what to say, Richie stood where he was, hands in his pockets and head down as Eddie clenched and unclenched his remaining left hand on his blanket.

"I'm So-"

"Are you gonna say-"

They both started to say before pausing awkwardly and Richie pulled his hands out of his pockets to take off his glasses and rub his eyes tiredly before roughly putting them back on with a determined face.

"Look Eds, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for running off earlier. You were right I was an asshole for doing that, especially after everything that happened." Richie explained quickly, still avoiding looking at the other man but he heaved a sigh, shaking himself a little to spit the rest of his speech out. "I didn't even mean to say anything." He whispered the last part brokenly before finally meeting Eddie's eyes and he was surprised to see that Eddie looked hurt, his heart lurched painfully at the thought of hurting Eddie and he walked over to collapse onto the chair as he surrendered to his fate.

"So…you didn't mean it?" Eddie asked quietly after a beat, avoiding Richie's gaze now and Richie didn't know what to do because he never ever wanted to be the reason for that hurt expression on Eddie's face.

"Eds…" He said miserably as he tried desperately not to cry, he weighed his options but he'd already made the decision to be honest with the Losers…For better or worse. "You know I did. _I do_."

"Do I Richie? You just said you didn't mean to say it, so what? Were you just gonna hide it? Pretend it didn't matter and then forget all of us again?" Eddie demanded, tone pained and Richie couldn't help but feel that he'd fucked up everything again.

"Eddie…I've loved you since we were 12, then I forgot you but I always felt that something was missing then I saw you again and everything came flooding back…And you were married, and to a woman no less. So no Eddie, I wasn't gonna say anything because I just wanted you to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted." Richie said brokenly, tears streaming down his cheeks that he just couldn't stop and he sniffled quietly as he buried his face in his hands.

"Richie." Eddie murmured sadly, Richie lifted his head to look back at Eddie and he offered his hand out to the Trashmouth who took it in both of his. "I wasn't happy." He explained softly.

"What? Why?" Richie asked, sniffing and taking a deep breath to calm himself.

"Because you were right asshole. She's like my mom." Eddie told him defensively, glaring at Richie when his lips tugged up slightly. "Don't laugh dickwad or I'm not talking to you again."

"I would never Eds." Richie said with a watery grin as he squeezed his hand delicately between his.

"I don't believe you." Eddie replied as he rolled his eyes but he took a deep breath before continuing. "When we moved away from here, I forgot about you guys and the clown but I also forgot that I learned my illnesses and weaknesses were fake. My mom had me right where she wanted me again." He added and Richie's eyes darkened as he thought back to the way Mrs K made Eddie feel.

"You were never weak Eddie." Richie told him resolutely.

"Even when we were at Bill's house, that day with the projector and the clown showed up? I was terrified and you pulled me over to you and put your arms around me to try and keep me safe." Eddie asked with a tender smile and Richie smiled fondly.

"Even then Eds, if anything I felt braver having you there. Always did." He murmured softly, stroking Eddie's hand with his thumb and looking down when he realised the gold band was missing from his hand but he tried desperately not to jump to conclusions.

"You always made me feel safe, even when you pissed me off I would still stay with you because when I felt weak you were there to make me feel like I could do anything."Eddie said gently, following Richie's gaze and smiling tenderly. "You weren't the only one you know?"

"What?" Richie asked as he looked up in surprise, he tried not to get his hopes up but his heart was thudding faster anyway and he swallowed thickly when Eddie merely stared back with a warm smile.

"I love you too Richie. I always did…It just took me a little longer to remember, I'm getting a divorce which will probably be messy." Eddie explained with a little grimace before adding. "And I know it'll take me some time getting used to just having one arm but if you'll have m-."

"Eds if you think I'm gonna say no you're an idiot. I've watched you die remember?" Richie murmured emotionally as the tears welled in his eyes and he looked back at Eddie desperately. "I love you…more than I've ever loved anything in my life…If you wanna be with me, you already have me. If you want to just stay friends but stay with me, I'll accept that too. I don't wanna lose you again." Richie confessed as he pulled back one of his hands to wipe at his eyes, when he looked up at Eddie he could see the other man was emotional too as a tear slid down his cheek. "Please don't cry Eddie." He added as he reached up to stroke the tears from his uninjured cheek.

"Sorry I just, didn't think you'd ever say that to me." He replied with a wobbly smile. Eddie was happy Richie realised, he was happy that Richie felt that way about him and Richie couldn't help but think '_fuck you clown_' as he moved closer to Eddie.

"Is this okay?" He asked as their faces were closer than they'd ever dared to be, his right hand squeezing Eddie's left, his left hand stroking Eddie's cheek and Eddie nodded as he moved closer so their lips could touch in a kiss so tender no one would believe Richie was capable of such a thing. They pulled back a little, shaky breaths escaping as their eyes met nervously but Eddie soon closed his and closed the space again.

This time the kiss was more firm, Richie's blood burned through his veins as he finally allowed himself to have the one thing he thought he could never have and he cursed himself when a little sob escaped him into Eddie's mouth. Eddie's hand slipped out of his and reached up to stroke Richie's cheek reassuringly as they pulled back again and he smiled gently at the Trashmouth.

"I love you Rich, you piss me off more than anyone I've ever met but you also make me feel braver and I just-." Eddie trailed off as he swallowed the lump in his throat, looking a little embarrassed at how his emotions were building and Richie grinned softly.

"Me too Eddie, I love you too." He replied, leaning back in his chair but reaching down to grab Eddie's hand again as he wiped his eyes with his free hand before letting out a little laugh. "Fuck sake, I haven't cried like this since ever." He added as he wiped his nose on his sleeve and Eddie glared at him.

"You're so disgusting, do you know how many germs you've just spread everywhere." Eddie remarked as Richie merely snorted and was met with a withering stare.

"Why are you talking about germs when you were literally kissing me five seconds ago?" He replied incredulously as Eddie tilted his head pointedly to the tissue box on the bedside table.

"There are tissues right there you degenerate." Eddie bickered back and Richie pointedly lifted a tissue and blew his nose obnoxiously loudly.

"Better?" He asked as he held the tissue out to him and Eddie recoiled in disgust pulling his hand away against his chest.

"Do not fucking touch me with that, do you know how at risk I am of getting an infection right now?!" The shorter man exclaimed and Richie rolled his eyes fondly.

"I wasn't gonna touch you with it, I just wanted to watch you squirm." Richie sniggered and Eddie full on pouted like the man-child he was.

"Well mission fucking accomplished, so hilarious, ten out of ten comedy. Remind me why you don't write your own material again?" Eddie replied petulantly.

"Blow me Eds." Richie said with a smirk and Eddie merely scoffed at him.

"You wish asshole." Eddie ground out but couldn't help but laugh when he noticed Richie's bright and genuine grin, miles away from the distraught look he had on his face when Eddie was bleeding out back in the Clown Cave.

"You've no idea Eddie." Richie joked with a wink but his actions betrayed his words when his hand gently slid into his again and his smile softened. "Hey Eds?"

"Yeah Rich?" Eddie asked curiously.

"I'm gonna come out to the Losers, I'm sure they know already because that fucking Clown is a _fucking asshole_ but if you don't want me to mention anything about this, I won't." Richie was giving Eddie an out, just because Richie was out, or going to be, it didn't mean Eddie had to be too but Eddie shook his head softly.

"Bev knows." Eddie murmured and when Richie looked up in surprise Eddie rushed to explain. "I didn't tell her anything, she brought it up. We all heard what the Clown said Richie, we all rushed in to save you. I just got there first okay? They wouldn't abandon you or _us _just because you're gay or we're together." He squeezed Richie's hand reassuringly. "Bev helped me call Myra for the divorce and take the ring off…I only have one hand so I kinda needed her help."

"I'm sure Bev probably always knew anyway, we smoked together as kids." Eddie frowned at that but Richie was oblivious as he continued on. "Other than you and maybe Stanley, Bev was the person I was closest to, we would talk about random things and crushes and I…I never said specifically who but…I think she always knew and she never judged me for it and never pushed for names."

"She's good like that." Eddie murmured warmly.

"I told Haystack how I felt about you." Richie confessed since they were being honest and Eddie's eyes widened. "After I left earlier, I went and got drunk and tried to get in my car but Ben the Tree grabbed me before I could get in and he started giving me this whole spiel about how we Losers stick together and I dunno; we were bonding." He explained with a helpless shrug.

"I'm sorry, you tried to drink and drive?" Eddie demanded incredulously.

"_That's_ what you got out of that." Richie commented with an eyeroll.

"Do you know the statistics of people who die in car crashes due to drink driving? You could have gotten yourself killed or someone else killed Asshat. Great job defeating a killer Clown from space and then immediately taking yourself out asshole." Eddie scolded and Richie let out a heavy sigh.

"No Eds, please _please_ tell me all the interesting facts and figures of my stupid decisions." The Trashmouth retorted sarcastically but just when Eddie opened his mouth to do just that Richie interrupted him. "Look I'm sorry alright? I didn't even manage to get in the car, I'm not proud of it okay? I make shitty decisions when I'm drunk who knew?"

"Just don't do it again dickhead." Eddie replied bitterly.

"Fine fine." Richie said dismissively before standing and Eddie looked up worriedly. "I'm just gonna let the others know they can come in." He told the shorter man with his hands out to placate him but when Eddie's face became relieved Richie frowned anxiously and he moved towards him, leaning down to leave a gentle kiss to his forehead. "Hey, I'm not going anywhere this time alright? Promise."

Eddie nodded with a small smile as their foreheads touched lightly. Richie didn't even leave the room, he just opened the door and peeked his head out as he hissed out a call to the other Losers and they all filed into the room as Richie sat back down in his seat closest to Eddie.

"How're you feeling now Eddie?" Mike asked warmly.

"A lot better, it barely even hurts but that's most likely the pain medication more than anything." Eddie replied softly and Mike nodded with a relieved smile. Eddie and the others turned their heads to Richie when he cleared his throat and stood again to address them.

"Guys? I uh…I have some things to say and then we can continue with our regularly scheduled Spaghetti watch."

"Richie." Eddie complained at the name but smiled proudly when Richie stood to his full height and had a determined look on his face.

"We're here for you Richie." Ben reminded him and that seemed to give Richie some courage as he smiled gratefully at their friend.

"Don't Haystack you're gonna make me cry…again." He replied as he placed his hand on his chest exaggeratively before turning serious. "So, I'm gonna preface this with my first encounter on my own with the Clown. I never told anyone this so here goes." He took a deep breath as the others looked at him with varying levels of concern.

"Eddie had broken his arm at the Neibolt house a few days before, Bill punched me in the face after I got extremely angry about it and we all fell out and separated." Bill ducked his head but Richie smiled softly to indicate all was forgiven. "So I was at the Arcade, playing Street Fighter with this kid and when the game was over…I asked him to play another round. I didn't have any friends left so I guess I must have looked desperate or something." He explained with a helpless shrug and Eddie tried to reach out for him but couldn't quite reach so Richie backed up a bit to slide his hand into Eddie's with a gentle smile.

"So uh, Bowers showed up at the same time, this kid had noticed him and he accused me of being a fairy and Bowers overheard it…The kid was his little cousin and Bowers…he called me fag in front of everyone and I dunno man…Normally when he called me shit it didn't bother me but this time…" Richie paused and looked down as he tried to hold it together and Eddie squeezed his hand to let him know he was there.

"I ran away, I couldn't do anything else. When I got to the park I sat on a bench for a few minutes to catch my breath and uh…the Paul Bunyan statue attacked me and at one point I just curled up and said it wasn't real before it went away…When we all came back I went to get my token at the Arcade and the fucking clown was waiting for me in the park again…It started singing this stupid song about how it knew my '_dirty little secret_' and that it was gonna tell everyone. That's when I came back to the Inn and was trying to leave." Richie said, pointing out the last line to Ben as he was the one trying to stop Richie from running away and leaving it all behind.

"So…uh, you probably already know because the fucking Clown basically said it but…uh…I'm gay. I would do Jazz hands but one of them has been stolen." Richie finished as Eddie squeezed his hand, he turned to meet Eddie's eyes relieved to find them glistening with unshed tears of pride and he took a freeing breath as he'd finally did it. Come what may.

"Richie, did you honestly think we would kick you out of the Losers club if you were gay?" Bill asked incredulously and he shrugged shyly.

"I dunno man, Derry isn't exactly the most accepting of places in case you haven't heard and I already had enough self-loathing and teenage angst not to have the one good thing in my life loath me too." Richie replied defensively before he turned to look at Eddie again, searching his eyes to make sure it was okay if he revealed his last secret and Eddie smiled fondly with a nod. "Also, in case it wasn't obvious…I was and still am madly in love with Eddie." He added, holding his breath as the others looked between them and Eddie grinned with a chuckle.

"Feeling's mutual obviously." The shorter man exclaimed and the others smiled and congratulated them both, Ben giving Richie an '_I told you so_' look and Bev rushed over to hug Richie tightly before going to hug Eddie.

"Thanks guys. I guess I should say that my biggest fear wasn't clowns like I told you all back then…It was people finding out I was gay." Richie admitted quietly.

"Oh honey. I'm so proud of you." Bev told him with a gentle grin and Richie chuckled gratefully as he turned his head to wipe away the tears that were building again.

"Fuck sake I'm crying again." Richie exclaimed incredulously as the other Losers surrounded him, herding him towards Eddie so they could hug them together, careful not to touch Eddie's wound.

Eddie was in the hospital for two weeks, the doctors were afraid of his stump getting infected so they wanted to monitor him for any adverse signs and Richie never left his side unless Eddie complained at him to at least go back to the inn and take a shower.

Bill had had to go back to the film set, he'd finished the ending of the script and sent it to the studio via email but he still had to go back to oversee the production and he kept in touch via skype calls every day.

Ben and Bev were reluctant to leave but it was Eddie that insisted they go and be happy together so they went on vacation with Ben's dog, making sure to check in with everyone.

Mike and Richie stayed with Eddie, though Mike was making plans to leave for Florida soon. He just wanted to make sure Eddie was out of hospital and settled first so he would visit them every day and sat with Eddie when Richie was sent back to the inn.

It was a good sign that the others hadn't forgotten them and Mike was cautiously convinced that it was different this time around. When Eddie was allowed to leave the hospital the doctor had given a list of medications and directions of how to change Eddie's bandages, and what signs to look out for which Richie paid rapt attention to.

Mike waited for them outside in his car as Richie helped Eddie walk out, having only one arm had messed with his balance so Richie carried their things and placed his arm around Eddie's waist to keep him steady.

"Thanks for the lift Mike." Eddie said appreciatively as Richie helped settle him into the front passenger seat, allowing Eddie to put on his own belt so as to not make him feel useless which Eddie was grateful for. Richie never told Eddie he couldn't do anything, or he was too weak to do something. He was just there if Eddie needed it and allowed Eddie to try things on his own.

"Anytime Eddie." Mike replied kindly as Richie slammed the boot closed and got into the back.

"Hey Mikey, you guys wanna order something when we get back to the inn I'm not gonna lie, I'm starving." Richie asked as Mike pulled out of the hospital parking lot.

"What do you think Eddie? You feeling anything?" Mike asked as he wanted Eddie to choose his first proper non-hospital meal.

"Do you think the Jade of the Orient staff would recognise us if we ordered takeout?" Eddie asked worriedly. "I really liked their Pad Thai."

"I mean it's worth a shot unless you wanna pay some kids to go in and order for us?" Richie remarked with a smirk.

"We're not gonna pay some kids to order the food dipshit, it's not like we're underage trying to buy alcohol." Eddie snorted.

"Hey I'm all for marching in there, pulling a Karen and telling them that it's because of them you lost your arm. Then they'd have to serve us if all their customers are looking." Richie joked with a snicker as Eddie gasped in offence.

"Fuck you Richie. You're sleeping on the couch tonight." Eddie growled and Richie sighed guiltily.

"I deserved that, sorry Eds it's too soon to joke." Richie admitted and Eddie turned in his seat to look back at him as Richie looked properly chastised.

"Fine, I forgive you asshat." Eddie relented with an eyeroll.

"So I'm not sleeping on the couch tonight?" Richie piped up hopefully with a grin and the other man signed in annoyance.

"Don't push your luck Rich." Eddie replied but the Trashmouth merely grinned in the back and for once kept his mouth shut. "Sorry Mike."

"Hey, it's okay. Just glad you two are happy." Mike said with a fond smile as they pulled up outside the Jade of the Orient.

"What do you guys want? I'll go in." Richie asked as he pulled his wallet out of his jacket pocket. "Eduardo? Pad Thai?"

"Don't call me that asshole…and yes please." Eddie snapped before softening at Richie's warm look.

"And for you, Sir?" Richie asked in his posh British accent that had Eddie groaning in his seat.

"Sweet and Sour special." Mike requested, pulling his own wallet out but Richie shook his head as he opened the door.

"Don't worry compadre, it's on the house." He said, waving lazily as he wandered into the restaurant.

"God he's the worst." Eddie complained but Mike merely laughed sincerely.

"He seems to be back to his old self anyway." Mike replied fondly and Eddie nodded softly.

"Yeah, some things never change." The shorter man said with a tender grin.

"And some things do for the better." The other Loser murmured and gave Eddie a pointed look. "You already seem much more relaxed than you did when we all came here given the circumstances."

"I am, I'm a lot happier than I was…Don't tell Trashmouth that though, I don't want him getting even more of an ego than he has already." Eddie admitted, chuckling lightly.

"He's a lot happier too y'know?" Mike said softly. "He doesn't even need to say anything, you just need to look at him to see it." Eddie smiled shyly, the atmosphere turning silent but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence as they waited and soon Richie was leaving with a bag of food and heading towards them.

Mike was right, Richie had a little bounce in his step he probably wasn't aware of, his shoulders weren't as tense and there was an easy smile teasing his lips as he approached…Radiating happiness.

"Andale, to the inn!" Richie exclaimed as he got in the back and Mike pulled out of the parking lot gracefully. "Man, I'm so hungry. I skipped breakfast 'cause the docs said you were getting out Eds…Didn't realise they'd leave it so late." He complained as his tummy grumbled loud enough for the others to hear.

"Sorry Rich, the Doctor just wanted to make sure there were no signs of infection before they let me go." Eddie replied worriedly and Richie scoffed dismissively.

"Don't be sorry Eds, it's better that they gave you the all clear before you left anyways. Besides, I'm thinking of opening up my own pharmacy with the amount of meds they gave me for all different kinds of scenarios. Oh also, we're gonna have to drive back to California. Dunno if you were paying attention but the Doc said-."

"I can't fly for a while, yeah I heard." Eddie interrupted quietly. "I'm sorry if that's gonna get you in trouble with your managers." He said, turning to look at Richie apologetically.

"Hey fuck'em. Eds, I'd much rather get chewed out by my management than leave you to make your way on your own." Richie told him earnestly as Mike pulled up outside the Inn. Richie got out of the car with the food, handing it over to Mike when he held out his hand expectantly as Richie then helped Eddie out of the car. "You know I'd give it all up, you're far more important." He murmured out of Mike's earshot as the other Loser was walking ahead to open the door for them.

"Thanks Rich." Eddie mumbled softly, unsure of what to say as his chest swelled with the affection he felt for the Trashmouth before leaning up to kiss him softly on the lips and not caring who could see it.

"Anytime Eds." Richie replied with a tender smile on his face as he helped Eddie keep his balance with an arm around his waist but allowed him to walk on his own. Mike closed the door behind them, following them to Richie's room as it was the closest and when Richie managed to get the door open, he set their food down on the dressing table. "Just wait here Eds and I'll pull the table over." Richie murmured as he settled Eddie down on the bed, Mike helped him pull the table towards the bed and set out their food whilst Richie set out their forks.

"Thanks for the food Richie." Mike said as he tucked in, respectfully avoiding looking at Eddie as he struggled to eat with his left hand and Richie tucked into his noodles greedily.

"Don't worry about it Mikey, I'd say we probably owe you a lot more than some Chinese food for sticking around this hellhole for 27 years." Richie said softly, looking over at Eddie questioningly to see if the other man needed help but he merely smiled back gratefully and shook his head.

"I dunno man." Mike said guiltily. "I mean I'm glad we killed It don't get me wrong but…" He let out a heavy sigh. "I feel responsible for Stan…and…"He trailed off and didn't meet the other two's gazes as he patted at his food absently with his fork.

"Hey Mike, we all made the oath. I don't blame you for me losing my arm okay. And Stan wouldn't blame you for what he did. You read his letter, you know he did what he felt he had to…Even though he…" Eddie trailed off sadly and Richie kissed the side of his head comfortingly.

"Stanley did his part, he knew the only way we could defeat It was to be together and he may not have been physically with us but I feel like Stan was watching out." Richie told them soothingly, his own smile fading at the edges but he tried to keep a brave face for the other Losers.

"I felt that too." Mike said softly.

"Right, eat your food before it gets cold Mikey. You don't want Doctor Kaspbrak giving you statistics on the dangers of cold food…Trust me I've been there." Richie said with a faux haunted look, snickering when Eddie grunted indignantly.

"Beep fucking beep asshole." He grumbled but it raised their spirits anyway as Mike gave a gentle laugh and tucked in.

They ate their dinner, reminiscing old times and how grateful they were to still have each other. Discussing their plans for the future and Richie left the room with Mike when he'd decided to head home as he still had some of their stuff in his boot, Mike promising to call in with them the next day before he headed to Florida.

Eddie was fiddling with his shirt when Richie came back, frowning in frustration as the buttons just wouldn't open for him and Richie set their stuff down on a chair quickly before hurrying over to help.

"Coulda waited 'til I got back Eds." Richie mumbled quietly as he helped the other man take his shirt off.

"I can't make you do everything for me, I don't want to be treated like an invalid." He snapped before sighing guiltily when Richie looked at him worriedly. "Sorry, I know you don't do that…It can just be annoying sometimes."

"Don't worry about it Eds." He replied softly, shrugging it off as he knew Eddie didn't mean it. "You wanna take a shower first? I'll change your bandages after so you don't have to worry about them getting wet."

"God yes! I haven't had a decent shower in two weeks." Eddie exclaimed, wrinkling his nose in distaste and Richie snickered lightly.

"What about the sponge baths that really old nurse gave you? What was her name? Bernice? I thought it was pretty sexy." Richie winked but let out a surprised shout when Eddie shoved him off the bed as he'd been perching awkwardly and he landed on the floor.

"Fuck you dickwad!" Eddie yelled bitterly but Richie was too busy laughing his ass off to be intimidated.

"Hey Eddie? Eds?" Richie called from his place on the floor and Eddie gave him a withering look in response. "Help! I've fallen for you." He giggled and Eddie tried to stay mad he really did but his lips tugged up at the corners anyway and soon he was chuckling slightly too.

"You're the absolute worst. Get up off the floor you fool." Eddie retorted fondly, Richie did as he was told and sat back down on the bed with a grin.

"Right Eddiekins, it's time for your sponge bath." Richie remarked with an old woman voice and Eddie rolled his eyes.

"No! I'm getting a shower, where are my pyjamas." The shorter man demanded and Richie sobered a little to go get Eddie's things.

"You wanna do this here or in your room? I don't mind either way." Richie asked curiously as he grabbed Eddie's pyjama pants and boxers. "I'm not giving you your shirt though until after I change those bandages." He added thoughtfully as he set the shirt to the side.

"I guess here is good, you mind if I stay here with you tonight?" Eddie asked shyly and Richie snorted fondly.

"Do you even need to ask Eds?" He replied softly, walking into the bathroom to set Eddie's clothes on the table by the sink and set out a clean towel. "You feel light headed or anything, even for a second. Don't hesitate to call for me okay?" Richie murmured as Eddie stood to walk towards the bathroom.

"I will. Thanks Rich." Eddie replied gently, leaning up for a kiss which Richie didn't falter to meet before pulling back so he could take his shower.

Richie contemplated what to do next, he didn't want to go too far in case Eddie needed him so he decided to clean the room up a bit. He moved the table back where it was and picked up anything Eddie was in danger of tripping over before settling himself down on the bed and playing some shitty game on his phone…purposefully ignoring the many emails he'd received from his managers wondering where he went.

"Uh…Richie?" Eddie called from the bathroom around ten minutes later, Richie dropped the phone immediately and headed straight to the bathroom door but didn't open it.

"What's up? Need me to come in?" He asked, worried but determined to let Eddie do things on his own if he wanted.

"I can't tie the towel around my waist, would you mind helping me out?" Eddie murmured and Richie opened the door softly. The shorter man looked a little ashamed as he held the towel to himself, hair dripping all over the place and Richie couldn't help but think he looked beautiful.

"No problem man." Richie replied as he carefully helped tie the towel. "Look Eds…I know it's hard for you but don't think you're being a burden by asking me for help alright? I want to." He said softly as Eddie still couldn't meet his eyes but the reassurance finally had him looking up.

"Thanks Rich…I just don't want you to feel like you _have_ to, I should be able to do things on my own." Eddie told him as he worried his lip looking embarrassed.

"Eddie you lost your arm two weeks ago, your dominant one at that…you won't need my help forever but just know that it's there." He replied with a little shrug and the other Loser nodded with a gentle smile.

"Okay, will you help me dry my hair and change my bandages then?" He asked, Richie smiled with a nod as he grabbed another towel and started rubbing it over Eddie's head playfully. "Wow, thanks."

"Anytime." Richie chuckled, properly towel drying Eddie's hair before pulling back when he deemed it dry enough and setting the towel aside. "Want to dry yourself and get dressed while I get the med supplies ready?" He added worriedly, the other man nodded so Richie left the room to get the supplies the Doctor had given him and waited at the end of the bed for Eddie to finish.

Eddie walked back into the room after a few minutes, having combed his hair and brushed his teeth before sitting beside Richie tiredly. Richie smiled at him softly before shuffling to the side to carefully remove the wet bandages from the stump of Eddie's right arm.

"Sorry, I'm being as gentle as I can." Richie murmured apologetically as Eddie let out a pained hiss.

"I know, it just hurts." Eddie replied reassuringly as he kissed Richie on the cheek gratefully, the Trashmouth smiled affectionately before turning serious in concentration as he wanted to change the bandages as quickly and painlessly as possible. The Doctors had had him do this before under supervision to make sure he did them right and he didn't want to fuck them up and land Eddie back at the hospital.

After he had cleaned the wound and redressed it, Richie kissed Eddie's nose as the other man had been trying not to cry through the pain and Richie carefully pulled him into a hug. "Sorry, I tried to do it like they showed me at the hospital." He added remorsefully, feeling like shit because Eddie was hurting.

"It's fine, I was doped up on painkillers then. I'm not now." Eddie said with a small smile as he buried his face in Richie's neck and breathed him in. "You need a shower."

"You say the most romantic things to me Eds." Richie snickered lightly. "I'll give you your pills and then I'll hop in the shower and we'll get some sleep. How's that sound?"

"Sounds good." Eddie replied as he unsuccessfully tried to stifle a yawn. Richie pulled away and wandered back to the bag of medical supplies and gave Eddie his painmeds and pyjama shirt before heading to the bathroom to shower. He was exhausted to be honest, he'd barely slept when Eddie was in the hospital and when he did, he slept in the hospital chair with a crick in his neck or would only stay at the inn for two or three hours; desperate to get back to Eddie's side.

Eddie was already in bed, sitting up against the pillows as he was buttoning the last button on his pyjama shirt, finding it easier to button his shirts than to take them off and he smiled fondly up at Richie when he walked back in. Richie's hair was a mess, he hadn't bothered combing it but it wasn't dripping at least and he was in sweats and a worn t-shirt.

"Am I still sleeping on the couch?" Richie asked with a faux pout and Eddie rolled his eyes warmly.

"Get in Asshole." Eddie grumbled and if Eddie wasn't hurt, Richie would have jumped in and made a whole show but as it was he carefully got in so as not to jostle him too much. He turned off the bedside lamp, took off his glasses and set them on the table before lying on his back awkwardly. This was the first time they'd shared a bed since they reunited…and Richie wasn't sure if Eddie would be comfortable with him curling up to him. He might be comfortable kissing Richie, telling him he loved him and stuff but maybe this was too much too fast. "I can hear you thinking from here." Eddie complained and Richie rolled to his side to look at him.

"Sorry." He replied softly and Eddie shook his head.

"Just…Come here." The shorter Loser replied, the tone of his voice shy and Richie smiled affectionately as he moved closer, an arm hesitantly going over Eddie's stomach as he buried his face in Eddie's hair.

"Better?" Richie asked quietly, trying not to lean on his good shoulder as Eddie had to sleep on his back so as to not put pressure on either of them.

"Yeah." Eddie murmured, his own hand sliding over Richie's and squeezing it softly.

"Love you Eds." He said as he placed a gentle kiss on the side of his head.

"Love you too." The other man replied sleepily before they settled into each other's space and let sleep take them.

"_Richie." Eddie said brokenly, Richie looked up to see Eddie standing over him…the clown's claw piercing through his chest as it waved Eddie about like a taunt before throwing him away like trash._

"_Eddie!" Richie called, scrambling up to chase after his best friend, the man he loved…He had to get to him, he had to stop the bleeding…to save him if he could. The others were calling after him but he needed to find Eddie. Where the hell did he go?! Richie ran through the many tunnels of the cave but Eddie was nowhere to be found._

"_Richie, help please." Eddie was calling for him but it echoed so loudly Richie couldn't pinpoint where the sound was coming from…all he could do was search and sob and hope. He found himself cornered, the clown's high-pitched laughter resonating as the sound bounced off the walls and he turned to see Bowers standing there with his axe, an unnatural grin on his face._

"_Time to float Faggot." Bowers shouted with the Clown's voice, raising his axe and swiping down hard, too fast for Richie to stop._

Richie gasped and sat up quickly. He brought his knees up close as he heaved lungfuls of air and he tried to muffle his sobs into his hands. Turning his head quickly, he breathed out a relieved sigh as he saw the outline of Eddie who was sleeping peacefully and he thanked whatever deity that he hadn't woken him.

He breathed in through his nose and held it before releasing it to try and calm himself as he brushed a hand gently through Eddie's hair, smiling tenderly when the other man sighed softly before getting out of bed to go to the bathroom.

"You look like shit Tozier." He murmured to his reflection as he cupped his hands under the faucet and ran some cold water over his face. He was just glad he hadn't had a proper physical reaction to his nightmare and accidentally hurt Eddie, he'd just have to get used to the nightmares if Mike's theory was correct; he wouldn't be forgetting any time soon.

He debated going downstairs for a drink but nearly jumped out of his skin when there was a gentle knock on the bathroom door.

"Rich? You okay?" Eddie asked worriedly and Richie cursed quietly before opening the door.

"Hey, sorry if I woke you." He replied apologetically but Eddie shook his head softly as he looked him over in concern.

"You alright?" Eddie reached over to take his hand and lead him back to bed as Richie merely hummed in response. "You wanna talk about it?" He asked as they settled into each other's space again, this time Richie buried his face in Eddie's neck with his arm around his middle and Eddie's hand brushed through his hair comfortingly.

"Not really Eds. Got enough to be worrying about." Richie replied with a small shrug but it was slightly muffled by Eddie's skin and he pulled the shorter man a little closer to him.

"I worry about you too y'know?" Eddie murmured as he kept combing his fingers through Richie's hair…which was nice.

"I know Eds and thank you but I don't wanna bore you with clown based renditions." He replied gently, it was as much of an admission of his nightmares as he was willing to give and Eddie kissed the top of his head and kept petting him.

"I get them too." He told Richie quietly. "But you know what?"

"What?" Richie asked curiously, moving back a little to squint at Eddie in the dark and he could just about make out the hint of a smile on the other man's lips.

"We fucking killed that asshole." Eddie replied with a soft carefree giggle.

"Ha! Yeah we did didn't we?" Richie said as he snorted a laugh, he knew Eddie was trying to cheer him up and it worked, his heart felt full and he didn't think he could love Eddie more but here he was being a fucking sap. He leaned down to kiss his cheek, Eddie turning his head so their lips could touch briefly. "Thanks Eddie." He whispered like a secret just between them and Eddie smiled as he pressed another kiss against Richie's lips.

"You feel like you can sleep?" Eddie asked gently and Richie was still really fucking tired so he nodded softly, burying his face back into Eddie's neck and he fell asleep with Eddie's fingers buried in his hair.

Richie decided that waking up with Eddie in his arms was his new favourite thing, Eddie's face was turned towards his as soft snores left him and his one remaining hand was placed on his back in a loose hold.

He didn't want to wake Eddie but he knew they would need to leave Derry soon if they had any chance of making it to California by the end of the week so Richie reluctantly eased out of Eddie's arm to go to the bathroom and get ready.

Eddie was still softly snoring when he walked back in so he wrote a note to say he was out getting breakfast just in case the shorter man woke up when he wasn't there. Richie felt content, that fucking clown was wrong, this whole town was wrong and he found it hard to believe in a world where what he and Eddie had was wrong.

Richie went into the diner he knew Eddie liked, ordering some coffee and breakfast bagels for them both to take back to the Inn. It was a nice morning, the sun was already warming his skin and he felt like a fucking sap as he smiled to people passing him by.

He could see the old kissing bridge in the distance and he thought back to his last secret, and he made the decision to tell Eddie before they left. Eddie already knew everything else, it's not like this last bit of information would ruin anything but he couldn't help but feel nervous as it was the last tangible proof of how far his feelings for Eddie ran.

Eddie was awake and waiting when he entered his room, the note resting on his lap as he looked up with an affectionate grin.

"Thank god. I'm starving." Eddie grumbled as his arm raised, making a little grabby hand and Richie laughed fondly at the sight.

"Patience Eds." He snickered as he eased himself down beside the shorter man, offering out the coffee cups in the holder as he tried to ease the bag of food open with this other hand. "Got you those bagels you liked from that diner on fifth." Richie added as he balanced the cup holder more on him so if they spilled they would hurt him not Eddie and held out a bagel with a napkin as he knew how Eddie could get.

"Thanks Richie." Eddie murmured gratefully, leaning over to kiss his cheek before lifting his bagel to his lips and sighing quietly with a pleased smile.

"We're gonna have to space the drive back to my place over a few days." Richie explained to make conversation as he took a sip of his coffee and Eddie nodded to let him know he was listening. "We'll probably have to make stops at motels and stuff to survive it unless you wanna drive?"

"I can't." Eddie replied in surprise and Richie merely shrugged as if the thought didn't even cross his mind.

"That's okay, once you get a little stronger with your left hand you'll be able to learn and we could probably get one of those cars that can assist you." He explained thoughtfully, Eddie smiled tenderly at the Trashmouth and he huffed out a little laugh. "What?"

"You. You've really thought this through haven't you?" Eddie asked as his eyes started to water a little. "What happened to carefree, no consequences, no planning Richie huh?"

"I got old as balls Eds." Richie retorted with a wink as the other man wrinkled his nose at the breaking of the soft atmosphere. "Also, I love you and we're together…So why wouldn't I think about shit like that?"

"I'm not saying you shouldn't, I'm just surprised is all." He replied fondly, moving forward to press a gentle kiss into his lips, careful not to dislodge the coffee cups before pulling back to grin happily. "Thanks."

"Don't thank me for that Eddie Spaghetti." Richie murmured with a content smile.

"I take it back. I told you not to call me that Asshole." Eddie said but there was no real venom in his voice as Richie merely snickered and finished his breakfast.

They spent a few more minutes in bed before Richie lifted their rubbish and threw them in the trash. He helped changed Eddie's bandages before he began to pack a few more of their things, leaving to go into Eddie's room to pick up anything he left behind before setting their bags together at his door.

"You wanna give Mike a call to let him know we'll be over before we leave?" Richie asked as he lifted the heaviest of their bags to take them out to the car and Eddie nodded as he lifted his phone with a grateful smile. He'd offered to help, with even some of the lighter bags but Richie insisted so he headed out to the car quickly and soon enough his boot was filled to bursting; Eddie really knew how to pack for every situation.

"Mike said he's waiting for us at his apartment at the Library, he's got his stuff packed too and was gonna make his way over here but he'll wait." Eddie explained when Richie finally flopped onto the bed beside him.

"After Mike's, I wanna show you something and then we can finally blow this popsicle stand. Oh also, I hired a towing company to take your car back to California for us so you don't need to worry about leaving it behind." Richie said tiredly as he looked over at his…partner? Boyfriend? They hadn't really discussed it so his Eds would do for now.

"Thanks Richie, I wasn't really sure what I was gonna do about it." Eddie replied in relief before smiling with narrowed eyes. "What do you wanna show me? And I swear to god if it's some elaborate prank to tell a 'your mom' joke I'm leaving you."

"It's not, jeez Eds what do you think of me?" Richie said, snickering when Eddie gave him a pointed look. "That's fair but I promise it's not."

"Better not be." Eddie threatened lightly, his hand brushed through Richie's hair as he picked up on Richie's anxiety. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just…just don't judge me alright?" He replied worriedly and Eddie frowned in concern.

"Now I'm really worried." The shorter man said anxiously.

"Don't be, it's nothing big or anything. I'm just nervous that's all." Richie reassured him, reaching up to squeeze his hand before finally sitting up and turning to look at Eddie. "You ready to go?"

"Sure, let's go see Mike and then show me what you need to show me. I'm so curious now." Eddie replied eagerly as the pair stood, Richie had both their room keys and they gave the rooms a quick once over to make sure they had everything before turning them in at the front desk.

Richie offered his arm for Eddie to take if he needed it and he linked their arms together earning them a few stares but Richie couldn't give a fuck at that moment because it just solidified how right having Eddie with him felt. He helped Eddie into his car before driving to Mike's in a comfortable silence, unusual for the Trashmouth as he normally hated silences as he would just overthink but he was peaceful as Eddie scrolled the windows down and a gentle breeze blew through his hair.

"Watch the road dummy." Eddie chastised lightly and Richie's head shot straight ahead, a ridiculous blush warming his cheeks at being caught staring and he felt like he was a kid again. They pulled up outside the Library without any further incidents and Richie opened the door for Eddie, only having to steady him once which was a good sign as they walked to the little apartment above.

"Hey guys." Mike greeted them brightly as they entered.

"Finally getting out of this shithole eh Mikey?" Richie exclaimed cheerfully as Eddie smiled warmly at the other Loser.

"Yeah, I'm excited…a little scared to be honest." Mike replied with an excited glee that he'd earned after twenty-seven years.

"Well if you get stuck for a place to go, you could always crash at my place for a bit." Richie offered with a small shrug.

"Thanks Richie but I'm finally ready to go out and travel. I'll still call and maybe visit from time to time though if you have a guest room." Mike murmured kindly.

"Of course man, call anytime…maybe gimme a heads up in case Eds here is feeling freaky." He joked warmly, laughing when Eddie hit him playfully.

"Don't listen to him Mike, he's delusional." Eddie replied with a fond eyeroll.

"I'll miss you guys." Mike replied as he watched them bicker with a warm smile. "I have a good feeling this time, I really think we'll be able to keep each other…Bill called earlier and said he hadn't forgotten a thing. How long did it take you guys to forget the first time around?"

Eddie and Richie looked at each other questioningly, trying to remember who left who first and Richie sighed a little guiltily. "I think it was two maybe three days. I remember _now_ that I had promised to write and call and stuff…but I just forgot everyone. Always felt there was something missing though just never could figure out what it was 'till you called me."

"Yeah I think I promised to call you that Sunday Mike, you remember? The whole day I kept thinking that I had forgotten something really important but I brushed it off." Eddie added sadly.

"That's why I think it's a good sign this time around, Ben and Bev have been gone a week, and they still check in every day, same with Bill." Mike said encouragingly.

"We'll have daily group calls just to make sure." Eddie suggested and Mike nodded eagerly.

"Just make sure not to fall down somewhere in your travels." Richie added with a fond grin as Mike grinned.

"I won't, I'll send lots of pictures of things I see and keep you guys updated to my whereabouts just in case." He replied with a soft shrug and Richie chuckled.

"That a boy Mikey, I'd suggest blocking Eddie so he can't give you full on TedTalks about every danger imaginable." The Trashmouth said with a wink.

"Shut the fuck up Richie." Eddie groaned but ducked his head because he knew it was kind of true.

"Hey, I love your TedTalks." Richie defended with a smirk, and Eddie merely rolled his eyes as he moved forward to give Mike a hug.

"Stay safe Mike." Eddie told the Loser with sad little smile.

"I will I promise, and don't worry I'll be over for a visit soon enough." Mike reassured him and Eddie nodded gratefully.

"Of course you will Mike. Don't be a stranger." Richie said encouragingly as he went to hug Mike as well. "Fuck the Clown and Fuck this town. Let's get the fuck outta here boys." He added with a little whoop and Eddie smiled fondly as Mike nodded enthusiastically. They walked outside to the parking lot and Mike smiled happily.

"I'll see you guys soon." He murmured before giving them a little wave as he got into his car and they watched him drive away.

"You got the door Eds?" Richie asked Eddie worriedly as he was opening the passenger door himself.

"Yeah I got it Rich." He replied softly as he eased himself into the car, at the same time Richie got into his own side and only had to catch Eddie a little as his foot slipped slightly. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it Eddiekins." Richie said as he ruffled Eddie's hair, snickering at the shorter man's protests and he started the car to head towards the kissing bridge.

"What are we doing here?" Eddie asked curiously as Richie pulled up at the side of the road and Richie released a nervous breath.

"The last secret I have." He explained softly and Eddie looked him over worriedly, hand reaching over to squeeze his.

"Whatever it is Rich, I'm still gonna be here okay?" Richie nodded jerkily, he knew that Eddie wouldn't hate him for it but this was his biggest secret which was full of hidden happiness and deep-rooted shame and he looked up at Eddie anxiously.

"So um…remember how that kid called me a fairy and Bowers chased me away, I got attacked by the Paul Bunyan statue and I lost all my friends…including you." Richie tried to preface before he could show him and Eddie nodded worriedly, his thumb stroking over the back of Richie's hand comfortingly. "Well, that day…I came here and I did something ridiculously stupid because number one Bowers and his cronies could have caught me out here-."

"Just show me." Eddie murmured, knowing Richie was just stalling and he nodded before pulling away to get out of the car, Eddie managed to get half-way out but Richie helped him before scanning over the various bouts of graffiti everywhere.

He froze when he spotted it, it had faded a little over time but it was still readable and Richie could almost see his younger self there carving it into the wood whilst looking around to make sure he wasn't seen. "I wanted to tell you about this because I wanted to prove to you just how much you mean to me and for how long I've carried this, even when I didn't remember."

"R and E." Eddie breathed, hand squeezed against his chest as he stared at it in awe. "Richie, this is…" He broke off before turning to look at him. "You really have loved me all this time?"

"Of course I have Eddie. You think I told you all that stuff for a joke?" Richie replied defensively and Eddie shook his head fondly as his eyes watered.

"You're ridiculous Rich." Eddie laughed wetly before moving over to kiss him softly, Richie's arms sliding to his sides as he held him closely and they pulled back with matching affectionate smiles.

"So you're not mad?" Richie asked him and Eddie rolled his eyes as his hand stroked the taller man's cheek.

"Why would I be? Besides, it's nice that it was here this whole time when we couldn't remember each other…Like a reminder." Eddie murmured, his cheeks warming at how sappy that sounded and Richie grinned tenderly.

"I love you." He said simply and Eddie kissed him again, merely a chaste press of lips but it still filled him with electricity before their lips parted softly.

"Love you too." The shorter man replied, pulling back after brushing his hand through Richie's hair affectionately. "Come on, you have a lot of driving to do. Don't think I haven't noticed how often your phone's been going off from your managers."

"Ugh don't remind me." Richie groaned softly, as he got into the car and Eddie managed to get himself in without incident. "I'll call Jason in the morning-."

"Tonight." Eddie interrupted with a look and Richie sighed before nodding.

"Fine, I'll call him tonight…Fucked if I know how I'm gonna explain all this though. Have you seen the headlines? They think I'm off on a bender." Richie rolled his eyes as he started driving on the road out of town and Eddie sighed sympathetically.

"I know what you mean, I called work and told them I'd been in an accident but didn't know how to explain how I lost my arm without being checked into a mental health facility." Eddie replied worriedly.

"I'll think of something, we could always blame it on a cult or something." The Trashmouth said thoughtfully as he turned his radio on to a pop music station and Eddie's hand began tapping his leg to the beat.

"Do you think that would work?" Eddie contemplated curiously. "I mean the newspapers of Derry were brushing off the disappearances and hate crimes as a murder-suicide thing?"

"Eh I dunno if that would work, Derry's so old fashioned and everything's online now do you even thing your work or anyone for that matter would be able to google it?" Richie asked with a small shrug as he kept his eyes on the road.

"You could just tell them the plot of 127 hours?" Richie suggested with a grin and Eddie rolled his eyes.

"Go fuck yourself Richie." Eddie groaned, smiling when Richie's hand settled over his for a few minutes, looking over to see the Trashmouth's relaxed features and he let out a relenting sigh.

One Year Later.

Richie cursed when the Taxi had pulled up outside his house, he'd been gone for around two months on tour which had taken a lot of convincing from Eddie as Richie had been reluctant to leave him for that long and willing to cancel. It had been a year since they'd confessed their love for one another, making the four day drive back to California where Richie had to make good with his managers and make up some excuse as to why he'd been missing for so long. Eddie sat with him to help Richie explain about their friends meeting up at their hometown due to a family death before a murder-suicide cult attacked them and when Richie's manager looked dubious Eddie showed them his arm and his face which shut him up pretty quickly.

Richie then talked to his managers about writing his own material, about coming out to the public about his sexuality now that he'd come to terms with himself and at first Jason was wary of doing it at such a public scale but it was more for Richie's safety than a worry about losing viewership. But Richie had been ready, he just wanted to keep Eddie out of the spotlight for as long as possible as Eddie was still in the middle of his divorce and he had been right.

It was messy, Richie made sure to support him but Eddie wanted to go to court alone in which time Richie would wait inconspicuously in his car and played a few games on his phone while he waited. Myra was always shouting at Eddie as he tried to walk out of court quickly away from her, shouting about how he'd made a mistake and he needed her now more than ever with only one arm.

God Richie hated her but he never said anything about her to Eddie unless it was to make a joke and Eddie seemed grateful for that. Especially when the divorce was finalised and Eddie had grinned proudly at Richie, thanked him for being there to support him through it and kissed him softly.

On their anniversary though, Richie had desperately tried to make it home for their dinner reservations but his phone had died and the flight got delayed and all in all it was a series of unfortunate events.

It was almost midnight now, the lights in their house were off which hinted that Eddie had gone to bed as he'd mentioned having some work to do early the next day and Richie felt like shit for missing their anniversary.

He lifted his luggage out of the back after paying the driver and dragged it up to the door as he fumbled around for his keys. With a heavy sigh, he eased the door open as quietly as he could and closed the door with a soft click.

His head shot up when a few loud yips echoed through the halls and their six month old Pomeranian was running towards him excitedly.

"Penny, shh." He hissed as he picked her up, she wiggled and yelped in his arms trying to lick at his face. "Quiet, you'll wake Eds and he won't be mad at you. He's never mad at you. Don't you love your daddy? Do you want him to live a long and happy life?" He cooed at her and she calmed down but was panting and still trying to lick him wherever she could reach.

The two looked up guiltily as the lights turned on, Eddie was standing there in his pyjamas with sleep-mussed hair and he squinted at them tiredly.

"Sorry Eds, I didn't mean to wake you. Didn't realise she'd be so loud. You're just excited aren't you Penny." He cooed the last line at their pup. Richie had gotten her as a gift for his boyfriend as Eddie worked from home a lot and he wanted to make sure he had company when he was away for any period of time, Eddie's eyes narrowed.

"Don't call her that, she's called Penelope." Eddie grumbled, he'd named her after Lady Penelope from Thunderbirds the nerd, he walked over to them to brush his hand through her soft fur before he eased her into his arm and set her on the floor. "Bed Penelope." He commanded fondly and she obediently ran off to her bed.

"I'm so sorry I'm late Eds, my phone died, the flight got delayed and I really _really_ wanted to make it home on time for dinner." He told his boyfriend sadly but Eddie smiled warmly at him.

"I told you not to rush home today and we could do dinner tomorrow." Eddie replied softly.

"I know Eddie but…it's our anniversary and all, we should be having dinner today." He said remorsefully but Eddie shook his head with a shrug.

"I _told_ you this would happen, I cancelled the reservations when I hadn't heard from you in over an hour. I've had a table booked for tomorrow for like a month just in case."

"God I love you." Richie murmured affectionately, Eddie smiled in response and leaned in to kiss him but before Richie could close the distance Eddie pulled back slightly.

"Did she lick your lips?" He demanded quickly and Richie groaned but shook his head.

"No, she licked my cheek now kiss me Eds I haven't been home for tw-" Eddie kissed him quickly to shut him up and Richie's arms slid round his back as he pulled Eddie as close as he could.

"You wanna take a shower?" Eddie asked after pulling back and Richie rolled his eyes fondly.

"God fine, you're such a s-." Richie complained jokingly as he pulled away and began walking towards the bathroom.

"I'm such a what?" Eddie interrupted warningly.

"Such a sweet loving person…and I love you with all of my heart?" Richie replied with innocent eyes, turning to look at his boyfriend but still backing towards the bathroom.

"That's what I thought." He retorted smugly and Richie froze when he entered the room as he noticed two sets of sleep clothes on the counter by the sink and he turned to look at Eddie whose face had taken on a pink hue.

"Together?" Richie asked hesitantly, they'd never showered together before as Eddie still had confidence issues with Richie seeing the stump of his arm in intimate situations and no amount of reassuring had helped but Eddie nodded bashfully so Richie tried to not make it a big deal. "C'mere." He whispered and Eddie hesitantly moved closer as Richie began to kiss him softly, hands sliding down to fiddle with the hem of his shirt.

They began to undress each other slowly, once Richie had Eddie's shirt off Eddie had kissed him quickly to try and distract him from looking as he pushed Richie's jacket off his shoulders. Once they were fully undressed and Eddie had gently set Richie's glasses on the counter, Richie leaned over to turn the water on hissing when the cold water hit his arm and he turned to kiss Eddie again as they waited for it to heat up.

"Come on." Eddie breathed into his mouth, Richie stepped in and pulled his boyfriend with him as the warm water cascaded against them. The temperature was cooler than what he usually liked, preferring hot hot showers but he didn't mind as Eddie unhooked the shower gel and managed to get some onto his hand before rubbing it over his chest painfully slowly.

This was nice, it had taken them a long time to be properly intimate as Eddie had confidence issues and Richie had plenty of issues of his own but it had been two long months since they'd last seen each other in person, FaceTiming everyday didn't count, so they were a little eager as they exchanged sloppy kisses whilst they washed each other.

Eddie had turned in the shower so Richie could wash his hair, the water hitting the taller man's back to make sure the water didn't get into Eddie's eyes but when all the suds were washed away Richie's hands began to roam. He kissed down Eddie's neck and shoulder, running his tongue along the droplets of water there whilst his hands slid over his chest, his right descending lower to slide over his boyfriend's hard cock.

Eddie breathed a soft sigh as his arm reached back, fingers digging through Richie's hair as he pumped in a slow and steady rhythm and the fingers of his other hand stroked over his nipples teasingly.

"I missed you." Richie murmured breathily against his skin, as his own hard member slid along Eddie's back and the gentle touch caused a hint of electricity to radiate through his skin. "Do we have any-?" Richie began before Eddie interrupted with a soft moan.

"T's on the shelf." He slurred blissfully, tilting his head a little so their lips could meet hungrily and Richie pulled back just so he could grab the small bottle of lube which was hiding inconspicuously behind a bottle of shampoo.

Once Richie had poured a liberal amount on his fingers he went to reach behind himself but Eddie grabbed his hand quickly and guided it towards himself. "You sure?" Richie asked curiously. Richie always bottomed, never wanting to push Eddie into anything he wasn't ready for and there was nothing he loved more than riding Eddie's cock but he'd always secretly wanted to do this.

"Please Rich, I've missed you and I'm ready." Eddie murmured as he leaned over to kiss him softly.

"You'll want to do this in bed Eds." He advised his boyfriend quietly into his lips and Eddie nodded but still insistently guided his hand towards his hole. "I'll make you feel good." He promised softly as his other hand slid back over Eddie and Eddie's fingers buried themselves back into his hair as he gently tugged on the strands driving him wild as Eddie knew how to exploit his weaknesses.

"Ngh." Eddie groaned quietly as his first finger breached his hole.

"Shh, I've got you Eds." Richie whispered, lips sucking a mark against his throat as his other hand began to pump him again along with the gentle thrusts of his finger.

"Asshole…We're sup-posed to-hah- go out to dinner tomorrow. Don't –uh-mark me." Eddie complained but couldn't help the soft moans that escaped him.

"I can't help myself Eds, you're just so cute." He replied as he bit down gently on his boyfriend's shoulder before licking the sting away and Eddie groaned quietly. "Another?" He asked after a few seconds of Eddie's heavy breathing and Eddie nodded eagerly, tilting his head for a kiss that Richie met just as he slid his finger out and pushed into his hole again with two.

"Fuck." Eddie hissed into his mouth, unable to keep kissing without needing to gasp out a moan and Richie scissored his fingers as he moved, curling them around until Eddie let out a high-pitched moan and Richie grinned as he knew he'd found it and aimed for that spot over and over, still keeping up his ministrations on his boyfriend's cock. "Fuck, fuck." Eddie panted, fingers tugging almost painfully on Richie's hair but he couldn't bring himself to care because of how blissed out Eddie looked.

"You wanna take this to bed Eds?" He suggested breathily, tongue sliding along the seam of the shorter man's earlobe and biting down softly.

"O-kay." He replied, a soft moan of protest leaving him as Richie eased his fingers out and turned off the water. They stepped out of the shower together, Richie grabbed a towel and began to dry Eddie off kissing him gently before pulling back and looking over at their pyjamas curiously.

"Should we bother getting dressed?" He asked with a playful smirk, Eddie probably would have if he wasn't so worked up but as it was he placed his hand on Richie's chest and pushed him towards their room, kissing the whole way until Richie landed on their bed with a soft 'oof.'

Eddie straddled him quickly, giggling slightly when he almost lost his balance but Richie caught him easily as he pulled him down for a kiss and eased them up the bed so his head could rest on the pillows and Eddie wasn't in danger of falling off the bed.

"I missed you." Eddie huffed into his lips, his hand sliding down Richie's chest to his neglected cock and he began to ease his hand up and down.

Richie reached over for the lube on the bedside table, Eddie always was prepared for every eventuality, and poured more over his fingers before easing back into Eddie. Both of them moaned into each other's mouths and when Eddie finally got impatient he batted Richie's hand away and tried to guide him in before Richie stopped him.

"Not like that for your first time Eds." Richie murmured softly, reaching up to hold his boyfriend before rolling them over gently so he was on top and Eddie frowned slightly. "I don't wanna hurt you, it'll definitely hurt if you try it like that on the first try." He soothed as he kissed down Eddie's neck, he really wanted to suck his dick but he knew Eddie wouldn't kiss him until he brushed his teeth at least twice so he settled for biting and sucking marks along his chest as he eased his fingers back into Eddie's hole.

"Richie." Eddie moaned softly, hand digging into the Trashmouth's hair and Richie grinned into his skin as he loved it when Eddie got like this. "Come on Richie, fuck me already."

"Patience Eds." Richie murmured, kissing back up to his lips as Eddie had tugged his hair roughly and he hissed softly unable to hold back a moan of his own. "You fight dirty." He complained as he hit that bundle of nerves and kept rubbing at it just to be a dick.

"Fuck, fuck. Just hurry up asshole." Eddie groaned and Richie let out a shaky breath as he eased his fingers back out and thrust in with three. "Oh fu-."

"Fuck, that's hot." Richie moaned as Eddie's spine curved giving him a great view of Eddie, a slightly blurry view without his glasses but beautiful nonetheless.

"Richie if you don't hurry up I'm gonna-." Eddie warned and Richie did stop then, grabbing the lube to spread it over his cock quickly before hovering over Eddie worriedly.

"Eddie, you sure you want-." He tried again but Eddie kissed him to shut him up and his hand slid down to guide Richie towards him.

"Come on Rich, please." He murmured softly, a small nervous smile tugging on his lips and Richie kissed him tenderly as he carefully eased his cock into his boyfriend. "Oh…Oh Fuck." Eddie groaned, panting heavily as Richie moved in at a snail's pace so as not to hurt him and when he was fully seated he waited until Eddie gestured for him to move.

He moved his hips backwards slowly before easing them back in, Eddie's hand clutched the back of Richie's neck as he gasped softly. Soon the slide was easier and the pained moans Eddie was emitting changed to moans of pleasure, his hips moving experimentally to meet Richie's thrusts as they groaned into each other's mouths. Their eyes met and Richie's heart thundered, not for the first time, that _Eddie_ was in his arms and he gently pressed his forehead to Eddie's.

"I love you Eds." Richie moaned, one hand sliding over Eddie's cheek as his other slid down to pump his boyfriend along with his thrusts and his thumb gently brushed over the year old scar as they stared at each other lovingly.

"Love…you too." Eddie panted, his breathing picked up and it was clear that he was close and Richie was barely hanging in but he wanted to make Eddie cum first. He picked up his pace a little, aiming for that bundle of nerves every time and soon Eddie was spilling over his hand. Richie swallowed his moans as he could feel his own orgasm building and he buried his face in Eddie's neck when he finally released, groans muffled by his skin as Eddie ran his fingers up and down his back to soothe him through it.

Richie eventually eased out, both letting out quiet hisses before Richie flopped down beside him and they panted beside each other before Richie let out a breathless laugh.

"What a welcome home." Richie commented, hand brushing through his hair softly as he turned his head to look over at Eddie who was smiling contently at him.

"I'm so glad you're back." Eddie replied affectionately as he rolled onto his stomach and curled up to him, Richie's arm sliding around him to pull him closer.

"Me too Eds, you have no idea." Richie murmured, kissing the side of Eddie's head softly as his breathing began to slow and his fingers of his hand stroked up and down the bumps of his spine.

"Don't fall asleep yet, we need to shower again." Eddie said insistently as Richie let out a sleepy yawn before groaning.

"Eds…Please I don't have the energy for that right now. I'm an old man have mercy." Richie complained as Eddie chuckled playfully before kissing his cheek.

"I'm kidding…mostly. We're definitely showering in the morning though and you're stripping the bed." Eddie told him smugly and Richie nodded eagerly.

"Whatever you want." He answered quickly, squeezing Eddie closer and kissing his head which Eddie sighed softly at.

"Happy anniversary Rich." Eddie murmured fondly and Richie smiled dopily.

"Happy anniversary Eds." They went to sleep like that, holding each other close through the night and for the first time in two months Richie felt like he could breathe again.

A/N I like to believe Eddie asked Richie to marry him at dinner but I was worried it would be too soon and Richie deserves to be happy goddamn it! Hope it wasn't too terrible. If you enjoyed then I'm glad :)


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